SHE is NoT ImpOSteR SynDrOMe

It’s a New Year and you guys haven’t heard form me. Happy New Year y’all and I hope the year is starting out great. But let’s get into. This year started with a lot of realizations. And one of those being, Imposter Syndrome and it has me in a CHOKE HOLD baby. But first incase you don’t know or just aren’t familiar with it, imposter syndrome are unfounded feelings of self-doubt, incompetence, not feeling worthy, qualified or deserving of being in the room, doing what you do, accomplishing what you want or advancing, you feel like a fraud. And there are different types of imposter syndrome according to Dr Young. And they are the perfectionist, the natural genius, the rugged individualist, the expert and the superhero. And I deal with two of these, the perfectionist and the superhero.

Imposter Syndrome often has me questioning everything about myself. I recently did a women’s conference which was awesome! I had a great time speaking. But prior to and preparing for this conference I felt so incompetent. I felt like I was not qualified or deserving enough to speak with these women about anything. I went over my presentation multiple times not wanting to send it to the host because I felt it wasn’t good enough. I felt I was not good enough to pour into anyone. And my friend had to help me out of it. She was like just send it to me now I know it’s great. Don’t go over it again, just send it.

It's a mental struggle many times dealing with imposter syndrome. It has you going back and forth with yourself, verbally in your head or out loud. I ask myself why am I tripping when I know I’m qualified. Frankly I know my shit and I’m good at what I do if I can toot my own horn. But feeling inadequate can overwhelm you and make you feel the things you do know and are sure about are false. A true battle of the minds and you have to work hard to make sure those negative thoughts don’t win. And I be really battling with myself. Like where the hell did this self-doubt come from? How did it pop up? How did it become a part of my damn life? I don’t like it. But I know where it come from, at least I do now. It came from my child hood of having to be perfect, or feeling the need to be. This imposter syndrome also makes you not trust yourself and making decisions. The feeling of not being enough is overwhelming as fuck. The shit is rough y’all. But I’m not writing all this just to tell you about it. You gotta leave this page with some to do’s right?

How do you deal with imposter syndrome?

1. Identify & acknowledge those feelings.

2. Talk to your person (a friend, spouse, family member, mentor) who you feel safe with to help work through these feelings and get a different opinion.

3. Sharing these feelings help you to feel less overwhelmed.

4. That positive self-talk and validating those strengths.

5. Challenge those self-doubts, what really supports these negative thoughts you got running through my head.

6. Stop comparing yourselves to other people. You are you, your journey is yours so stop comparing yourself to others and their journey because it doesn’t do you any good.

7. And guess what, you’re not alone. Thousands of other people deal with imposter syndrome. It makes it easier to deal with sometimes when you know you’re not the only one struggling with it.

And understand this is something you may have to do on a routine basis because imposter syndrome rears it’s ugly head often. And that’s okay. The point is to deal with it in a healthy way so you can get through it quicker and it doesn’t have to be a barrier to your growth or success. You ARE the SHIT, period! You ARE DESERVING! You ARE WORTHY! You ARE QUALIFED! You ARE COMPTENT! Say it until you feel it, say it when that doubt creeps in and keep going. Simply remind yourself who the hell you are and you got this!